I needed to talk to someone, anyone. The emotions I was feeling were slipping out of my control! The stress and anxiety levels were becoming outrageous. I was convinced I was moving inexorably towards some kind of mental breakdown. Fuck it, I googled for help. Drinkline and Alcoholics Anonymous were the first two hits. I… Continue reading Day 90….. Drinkline and Alcoholics Anonymous.
The day started well, I spent a lot of time with my children, we had a lot of fun and there was plenty laughter. As the party got busier the kids did their own thing with other kids and the adults migrated together towards tables full of alcohol. I sat among friends and family, some… Continue reading Day 86… The party!
Two normally alcohol fueled events fast approaching: large outdoor party being planned for Saturday, lots of my partners family and friends will be there & a week long trip to Ibiza in October. It was like a planned attack, coming at me from different angles. You're going to be drinking at the party surely? Just… Continue reading Day 81 … They won’t give in.
Today is so fucking difficult. It's been a shit week, hard stressful days. I've tried to finish early every day, home before 6pm, hoping to ease the pressure between my partner and myself but the reality is that I just created more time for her to pick fights. My best friend has gone, only an… Continue reading Day 77…. I don’t know if I’m losing or winning.
One more day and I've beat my record, it'll be the longest I've went without alcohol in my adult life. I feel so happy that I've not had a single drink in this time but so far I'm not feeling any significant benefits. My sleep is different but I don't think it's better. I used… Continue reading Day 74……beating my record.
Unable to sleep, a horrible anxious feeling coursing through my mind and body. It feels like everything is falling apart around me, completely out of my control. I got out of bed and came quietly downstairs before I woke anyone, before I added fuel to the fire, before I created an even bigger rift than… Continue reading Day 64…..confusion caused by clarity.
Another evening spent with my partner's family. I was in good humour, relaxed and generally happy. It has been a busy day, gardening in glorious sunshine while keeping four children under 12 occupied; an early purchase of a paddling pool and a sand pit with a significant amount of sand helped here. Although looking out… Continue reading Day 58….the sympathy pint…and the truth.