Stopping drinking is such an incredibly difficult journey. The initial fear of not being able to refuse a drink at the next opportunity or the fear of getting through testing times without alcohol to hide behind is quickly surpassed by overwhelming feelings of anxiety, incredible boredom, questioning yourself, your beliefs, your choices, your life. This… Continue reading Day 147 …. Drifting with the tide.
How can you be afraid of the unknown? Seriously, how can something you don't know about cause fear? Or have I got it wrong? Is it fear of the outcome of something you are already aware of? This is the nonsense that bounces around in my head these days, the broken glass rattling around in… Continue reading Day 126…..fear of the unknown.
I've now reached a stage where I feel I have to accept that I'm not the person I thought I was. My perceptions are different, l still have the same beliefs, I still feel passionate about the same things but everything just feels different. I don't have the trust in people that I had a… Continue reading Day 119… ‘Smashed’
I'm still here, hanging in there, not drinking... It's normal now, just something that I no longer do. I miss it but that doesn't faze me as I stopped smoking 12 years ago and I still miss that! My eldest son asked me tonight when I was going to start drinking again. It's been a… Continue reading Day 112…..my secret support network.
I never thought I'd get to this point! 100 days ago my decision was made; no more alcohol! It took a couple of weeks on and off the wagon before I had my final alcoholic drink but I'm now 100 days in and I feel good! I've been through the cravings, desperate to replace the… Continue reading Day 100…..sober and still learning.
I'm not missing alcohol at all at the moment. Really busy at work during the day. I'm running most evenings which I'm really enjoying. The weekends I get quality time with the kids. It all seems win win just now. I haven't attended an AA meeting yet but I've chose the venue and I'm definitely… Continue reading Day 95…..update and other stuff.
I needed to talk to someone, anyone. The emotions I was feeling were slipping out of my control! The stress and anxiety levels were becoming outrageous. I was convinced I was moving inexorably towards some kind of mental breakdown. Fuck it, I googled for help. Drinkline and Alcoholics Anonymous were the first two hits. I… Continue reading Day 90….. Drinkline and Alcoholics Anonymous.